Jokes, 18+ there not that bad

These are out of this months maxim and i got a laugh out of them so here they are.....

A husband and wife are sharing a bottle of wine when the husband says, "I bet you can't tell me something that will make me happy and sad at the same time". The wife thinks for a minute and says "Your dick is bigger than your brother's"


A guy shopping at the local supermarket notices a woman looking at him. "Do I know you?" he says, walking over. "I think your the father of one of my kids" the woman says.
"Are you that hooker I banged behind Chucky Cheese's during my sons birthday party?" "No" the woman replies, "Im his math teacher"

Q: whats the worst thing about rollerblading?
A: Telling your parents you are gay.